The KaDoh! Institute

The State of the State & Weird Law Review: Georgia

Full disclosure.  I have spent nearly 2 full months in Georgia in my early 20’s.  I  stayed just north of the Buckhead area for work in a residential motel two times for about a month each time.  I worked for the world’s largest independent insurance adjusting firm at the time and was sent back to Atlanta for training.

I had a great time in Georgia, and  had the pleasure of watching a combined no-hitter live at the ballpark during the Braves first playoff run in many years in 1991 amongst many other adventures.

And Braves fans, I think Pendleton muffed the high chopper on purpose.  He’s smart, being a Fresno State baseball player and knew he had no chance to throw the runner out on that high chopper.  And the official scorer ruled it an error.

American Pie. Great bar. RIP.  Brown Eyed Girl and Buffett rocked the house on the jukebox.

Buckhead. Great area, fun times to be had.

Cheetah.  We (my roommates and I) did meet Deion Sanders and Dave Justice at the Cheetah club late one night. Yes they were in their first playoff run, finally good after so many years. We didn’t ask them why they were out so late, and they didn’t ask us either. It was a work night. If you want to know what strippers do when baseball stars come into a strip club I know. They flock to the baseball stars. All of them. Then the stars choose. They stole ours.  So we got another one as there were very many about the place.  And yes, the Braves had a day game the next day.

Steve Boylan’s Panda has been to Cheetah.  Without Steve though.

Steve Boylan's Panda has been to Cheetah
Steve Boylan’s Panda has been to Cheetah

Coca-Cola Headquarters Museum: Fun to visit and drink coke. Be sure to remind them that they switched from Old Coke to New Coke and back again. They love that.

The Varsity. Pretty cool, retro style eatery.   Eat at a Waffle House also. Try the grits.

Golfing in Buckhead. If I could remember the course would be great. My friends teed off from one hill to the next, clearing the valley in between. I am a bad golfer, and had to go down the hill, and hit the ball up the other hill. Fun hole. I bought after the round was over…

Stone Mountain. Yep, aptly named and a huge stone.  It’s a Civil War memorial.  Took in a cool laser light show there.

Peaches.  Oh yeah? We’ve got Oranges in California.  Millions of them also.

Atlanta Braves. As a Giants fan it was still easy to root for the Braves in 9/91 as they made their playoff run. I was at the game that was a combined no-hitter.  Awesome.  The enthusiasm in Atlanta made it impossible not to root for them while there.

The Underground.   Way cool.

Weird Laws:

You cannot live on a boat for more than 30 days during the calendar year, even if just passing through the state

They really are anti-boater back there.

If an organization non registered as “non-profit” fails to register their raffle with the local sheriff, that group risks paying up to $10,000 in fines and spending five years in jail.

Wow.  Be careful churches.  Kinda like a police state.;)

While Georgia operates its own lottery, it “protects” its citizens by making it illegal to promote a private lottery.

Wow.

The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.

The safety password is “You’re under arrest.”

All sex toys are banned.

Texas lets ya have up to 6 dildos.

Signs are required to be written in English.

No hablo English. Porque is the reason that any potential negligence from inadequate or insufficient signage is not factored into the law?

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

2nd state I’ve come across to outlaw such methods of carrying ice cream.

Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.

Seriously? How about a hit and run then? Diplomatic immunity? Crazy…

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

What about mules? Loophole?

All citizens must own a rake.

It doesn’t say they have to use the rake, though.

Adult bookstores may not sell alcohol.

Selling alcohol at adult bookstores dilutes the market.

If you want to read your favorite book in public to your friends, do it before 2:45 AM.

But the best time to read Lady Chatterley’s Lover to friends is at 3:00 AM.

Massage businesses may not sell alcohol on the side.

It doesn’t say they can’t give it away for free though.

It is illegal to sell two beers are once for a single price. For example, a bar can’t run a 2 Bud Lights for $5 special.

They are kinda strict back there aren’t they?

Though being forced to close your business is bad enough, Athens-Clarke County forces one to obtain a license before holding a Going-Out-Of-Business sale.

Jesus, have to have a sale to afford the license so you can have another sale to go out of business.

Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter a game of bingo.

Can you just serve them as snacks?  I won thousands of goldfish as a kid.  And cakes on the cakewalk.  Georgia is against school carnivals I guess.

Owners of mules may not allow their animal to roam around Athens unsupervised.

Donkey loophole.

Persons under the age of 16 may not play pinball after 11:00 PM.

Anti-Pinball Wizard legislation.  Are they anti Jukebox Hero also?

It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair.

Do not eat the Frito boat…

One man may not be on another man’s back.

Especially if you are also playing peek-a-boo.

 At Nickajack Elementary School, all peanut products are banned, even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I’m guessing they had a bad run on kids allergic to nuts. Or they just really don’t like Jimmy Carter?

No one may tease an idiot.

An oddly pro politician law.

Crosses may be burned on someone else’s property, so long as you have their permission.

Speechless.  I guess protecting the KKK’s rights is important.  That they took time to legislate it is kinda strange.

Can we put the fire out without permission though?

Komments!

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